About the Harrison Butker Controversy

Butker Should Probably Join the Church of Nice

A lot is flying around the World Wide Web (do people still call it that?) about the commencement speech that Kansas City Chiefs kicker Harrison Butker recently gave at Benedictine College. As you might have guessed, Benedictine College is a private Catholic school. Ironically, the school’s motto is “Forward. Always Forward.” Butker happens to be a native of my home state of Georgia and a graduate of Georgia Tech, which is routinely owned in football by the University of Georgia.

Generally, I don’t care what people believe. Unfortunately, as its influence declines, people who practice Christianity or Catholicism are pushing back to counter the influence of secular culture in American society. Because that has an impact on people who are friends and family, I’ve felt compelled to speak out more.

Let me begin by saying that Butker is entirely entitled to his opinion. Whether you agree with his opinion or not is entirely irrelevant. Now, we have to remember that the concept of free speech, as protected by the First Amendment, is designed to protect speech from government censorship. It does not protect the speaker from the social ramifications of his or her speech. I don’t think Butker should be cut from the Chiefs. Whether or not he stays on the team should be based on merit. Considering that Butker made 94.3 percent of his field goal attempts in 2023, including a 60-yard try, I assume the Chiefs will keep him around. He is in a contract year, though, so the team may weigh the distractions when considering an extension.

Here are the lines from Butker’s speech that are getting so much attention.

“Bad policies and poor leadership have negatively impacted major life issues. Things like abortion, IVF, surrogacy, euthanasia, as well as a growing support for degenerate cultural values in media, all stem from the pervasiveness of disorder.”

Abortion has support among Americans. Evangelicals and Catholics may oppose it, but only 13 percent want to make abortion illegal. As far as in vitro fertilization (IVF) goes, yeah, make that an electoral issue and see how it goes.

Butker doesn’t mention what “degenerate cultural values” he’s talking about, but we can make assumptions. He mentions “gender ideologies” earlier in the speech. There’s broad support for same-sex marriage and transgender rights. The genie is out of the bottle, and there’s no putting it back in.

“Our own nation is led by a man who publicly and proudly proclaims his Catholic faith, but at the same time is delusional enough to make the Sign of the Cross during a pro- abortion rally. He has been so vocal in his support for the murder of innocent babies that I'm sure to many people it appears that you can be both Catholic and pro-choice.”

The Hebrew Bible is pretty jarringly pro-death. Numbers 5:11-21 describes a ritual that induces an abortion. I know apologists would argue that the context is that this was a test for an unfaithful wife. Considering the views of the anti-abortion crowd are either limited exceptions (rape, incest, and the case of the mother’s life) or no exceptions at all, it would seem hard to square these verses with anti-abortion views. There are other troubling verses where the killing of children is condoned, supported, praised, instructed, etc. Those verses include Exodus 12:29, Leviticus 20:9, Judges 11:30-40, 1 Samuel 15:3, 2 Kings 6:28-29, Psalms 135:8, Psalms 136:10, and Psalms 137:9. I could keep going, but you get the point. I know apologists have various justifications for these examples. Well, I should say attempts to justify. It’s impossible to reconcile these examples with faith-based anti-abortion viewpoints.

“These are the sorts of things we are told in polite society to not bring up. You know, the difficult and unpleasant things. But if we are going to be men and women for this time in history, we need to stop pretending that the ‘Church of Nice’ is a winning proposition. We must always speak and act in charity, but never mistake charity for cowardice.”

Butker is probably referring to the Catholic Church rather than Christianity as a whole here. Evangelical and fundamentalist Christianity generally haven’t been perceived as being “nice” and are declining in followers. Christianity is projected to fall under 50 percent of Americans in just a few decades. Considering that more than half of America’s population is Millennial, Gen Z, or Gen Alpha—each more culturally, racially, and religiously diverse than any previous generation in American history—being anything but nice when it comes to tough cultural issues seems like a really bad idea.

“We fear speaking truth, because now, unfortunately, truth is in the minority. Congress just passed a bill where stating something as basic as the biblical teaching of who killed Jesus could land you in jail.”

This is absurd. Butker is referring to the Antisemitism Awareness Act, H.R. 6090. I’ve conceded that the bill could be clearer about its intent, but the bill does not include any criminal penalties. The relevant part of the U.S. Code amended by the bill, 42 U.S.C. §§2000d, also does not include any criminal penalties.

“Part of what plagues our society is this lie that has been told to you that men are not necessary in the home or in our communities. As men, we set the tone of the culture, and when that is absent, disorder, dysfunction, and chaos set in. This absence of men in the home is what plays a large role in the violence we see all around the nation. Other countries do not have nearly the same absentee father rates as we find here in the U.S., and a correlation could be made in their drastically lower violence rates, as well.”

Correlation doesn’t equal causation. Few would disagree with the notion that a family setting is best for children. I say that as a nonbeliever. I think the family is important. That being said, I don’t think the family has to look like conservative Christians and Catholics often to be. Of course, I’m talking about blended families and same-sex marriages.

There are also settings where a single-parent household is unavoidable, either because of an abusive situation, the death of a parent, or two parents flatly don’t get along. I was raised in a household in which a parent passed away. Even if that parent hadn’t passed away, my parents almost certainly would’ve divorced. They just didn’t get along. Constant exposure to two parents who don’t get along can be damaging to a child and set a poor example of what marriage is. Granted, the father may still be involved in the child’s life. However, far-right Catholicism tends to frown upon divorce, and there’s a push among some in the conservative movement to get rid of “no-fault” divorce.

In any event, the claim that absenteeism among fathers is a reason for higher rates of violence seems to overlook a lot of other factors. First, you have to remember that violent crime in the United States is about half of what it was in 1991, give or take. We also just seem to be a more violent society. I want to be careful here, because I’m not advocating for gun control on par with Europe or anywhere else, but other countries have much, much stricter gun laws and fewer guns.

“Be unapologetic in your masculinity, fighting against the cultural emasculation of men.”

There’s nothing wrong with being a man. Nothing. There’s also nothing wrong with stopping to put yourself in the shoes of another person, whether that person is a woman, of color, or part of the LGBTQ community. Men, particularly white men, need to recognize that we have put up barriers for women (not to mention, people of color), many of which still exist in society today. Some guys feel women owe them something, almost like some sort of entitlement, or look down on professional women. It’s wrong. Some of these same guys also use slurs to ostracize men who are part of the LGBTQ community. That’s also wrong.

Toxic masculinity is a real thing. It’s just a sad fact that some guys are misogynistic and homophobic. Several years ago, I was invited to a meeting on Capitol Hill that I couldn’t attend because of travel. I sent a staffer who happened to be a young woman. She gave me a readout. Nothing happened that I didn’t expect. Then, I got a call from a colleague who also attended the meeting who told me that the staffer with whom they met, a male, didn’t even look at or otherwise acknowledge my staffer during meeting, even when she directly addressed him. She didn’t mention this to me. I asked her about it. She confirmed it. I reached out to the deputy chief of staff in the office and issued a formal complaint. I don’t know what, if anything was done to address the issue with the staffer. I can say that he is no longer on the Hill.

My fiance and I are partners. We both work. We recently combined our incomes. Prior to that, we split our bills evenly, except for when we ordered DoorDash or went out to eat. I also picked up the tab for groceries. This was a way for me to bear a bigger load because I earn more than she does. We’re 50/50 on everything else. There are some things I do, like routine yard work, but I was raised doing those things. She wasn’t. Otherwise, we don’t have “men’s work” or “women’s work.” We have “stuff that needs to get done,” and we both do it. I’ve cleaned the bathrooms. I’ve cooked dinner for the majority of some weeks. That’s just the nature of our relationship. I gather most modern relationships are like that.

“Some even leave the Church and abandon God. It is always heartbreaking to hear these stories, and there is a desire to know what happened and what went wrong.”

Well, I didn’t so much “abandon God” as I stopped believing in the existence of God. You can’t “abandon” something that didn’t exist, to begin with, but I digress. I’m writing something about why I’m an atheist. I hope to have that post done soon. For a teaser, though, it begins with people like Harrison Butker and the turning of Christianity into a political movement.

“I am certain the reporters at the AP could not have imagined that their attempt to rebuke and embarrass places and people like those here at Benedictine wouldn't be met with anger, but instead met with excitement and pride. Not the deadly sin sort of pride that has an entire month dedicated to it, but the true God-centered pride that is cooperating with the Holy Ghost to glorify him.”

There’s an ongoing debate among biblical scholars about whether the New Testament condemns homosexuality or if another form of sexual deviance, such as pederasty, was what Paul condemned. Pederasty was common in ancient Greece and ancient Rome. But I guess it wouldn’t be a religious speech without some unnecessary jab at the LGBTQ community.

“For the ladies present today, congratulations on an amazing accomplishment. You should be proud of all that you have achieved to this point in your young lives. I want to speak directly to you briefly because I think it is you, the women, who have had the most diabolical lies told to you. How many of you are sitting here now about to cross this stage and are thinking about all the promotions and titles you are going to get in your career? Some of you may go on to lead successful careers in the world, but I would venture to guess that the majority of you are most excited about your marriage and the children you will bring into this world.

“I can tell you that my beautiful wife, Isabelle, would be the first to say that her life truly started when she began living her vocation as a wife and as a mother. I'm on the stage today and able to be the man I am because I have a wife who leans into her vocation. I'm beyond blessed with the many talents God has given me, but it cannot be overstated that all of my success is made possible because a girl I met in band class back in middle school would convert to the faith, become my wife, and embrace one of the most important titles of all: homemaker.”

This is the part of Butker’s address that has received the most criticism. I’ve run across a few guys like this in my life. I’m amazed by the views they have, particularly if they’re married or otherwise in a relationship. I think it’s great that Butker’s wife is a homemaker if that’s what she’s chosen to do. After all, she doesn’t need to work considering the five-year contract he signed in 2019 worth up to $20.275 million, with $5.6 million guaranteed. The median household income in the United States is $74,580. With affordability an issue more today than it has been in the lifetime of Millennials and Generation Z, two incomes are needed for most families to get by.

The fact is that most households are dual-income. Less than 25 percent are single-income. It has been that way since at least the late 1990s. Dual-income households actually peaked in 2002. Since-income households peaked in 2010, at 25.5 percent. That data point may be a matter of circumstance because of the aftermath of the Great Recession. Unemployment peaked in October 2009 and remained high into 2010.

Women do not exist to support men, have kids, and be homemakers. I realize that’s a central view of some evangelical Christians, national conservatives, and Catholic integralists. If that’s what a woman chooses to do, that’s great. But I want my fiance’s daughter—my future step-daughter—to decide what’s best for her, free from outside influences.

No one is “diabolically lying” to women, though. It’s just a dumb statement.